My editor recently sent some bios over for me to review. I had several styles to choose from ranging from snarky to formal. Reviewing them made this whole process start to feel real. I’m not saying I’m not still in a bit of denial – my picture might as well be next to imposter syndrome in the dictionary – but I think I am actually starting to believe that I’m an actual, professional writer. (Possibly stamped 100% Genuine somewhere even. That might be a fun temporary tattoo!)
Reading through the four options was a surreal experience: seeing myself written about in the third person, my master’s degree and all my professional experience summed up into a one-word adjective, my editor making connections about my work that I never had… Well – it’s just bizarre. (Especially having someone make your hobbies sound interesting. I mean, I love reading, but it was never a thing to brag about growing up – I’ve embraced it with a BOOK NERD sweatshirt since, but it’s fun that my publisher does too.)
It was hard to decide which version to choose. The formal “proscribed” version was easiest to eliminate. I’ve been working hard on figuring out who I authentically am these last few years – hell, that theme kinda runs through my first book. It felt like a betrayal of all that to try to be something I’m not. Not to mention it seemed like a lot of work – trying to match that tone every time I have to write a Facebook post or add to my blog? No thank you! (It’s hard to type and hold your pinky up in the air at the same time dahling.) Not to mention it feels like that would be boring to read, right?
Having said all that about authenticity, I need to share that Auden Llyr is a pen name. I hope you will understand that not using my own name was a hard decision. I have lots of reasons for it ranging from the fact that I am the only person in the world with my real name – making it ridiculously easy to track me down, to the fact that my partner’s name (attached to my own with a hyphen) implies I’m from a different ethnic background than I am, which could lead to confusion. Not to mention that experience from doctor’s offices and hostess stands has convinced me that many people wouldn’t be able to spell or pronounce it properly. I’m also protecting my young children (and honestly myself, as I am a huge introvert). The thought of being blindsided by even the most wonderful reader recognizing my name and wanting to talk to me when and where I’m not expecting doesn’t quite lead to panic… but I’m one step short of that. Is there a word for that? Hmm, thank goodness for the thesaurus – pick one: alarm, anxiety, dismay… I could keep going?
True story – when COVID-19 hit and people were stocking up, I got a ream of printer paper from the grocery store since I didn’t feel up for braving the crowds at Target. The confused cashier asked me if it was my backup for toilet paper. (Huh? No! Ouch! Paper cuts there?! No thank you!) I explained I was an author and that between that and kids being sent home from school I knew I would need more paper than I had currently. She immediately asked me about my book, kindly making conversation. I have never stuttered through an explanation so badly in my life. She said it sounded interesting and had me write the title down for her, so I may not have sucked as much as it felt like, but I made a huge mental note to practice a spiel for my book and to never volunteer that I was an author again. Shhh! Don’t tell my publisher – they think I am going to do marketing and publicity stuff!
So after months of consideration, I settled on the pen name Auden Llyr. She’s still me. Anything the bio says Auden is or does is all me. There is a 99.9% overlap between us. In-person I’m hoping Auden has slightly less social anxiety than I do, and that she is perhaps a bit sassier. But online, the voice in my books? It’s all me.
So, all that said, I’d like to introduce myself (and Auden!) with the finalized version of my official bio from my amazing publishing company:
Auden Llyr is the pen name for a real person. Like all good storytellers, she believes in the transformative power of a good book, and its ability to positively impact the world of humans.
Growing up in the company of the Blue Ridge Mountains reading fairytales and folklore, exploring the wild alchemy of nature, her writing is firmly steeped in the intrinsic magic of fellow beings and old souls.
Observant creatures have found her communing with a tattered paperback in a comfy chair in the corner of a used bookstore, or trailing fingers over book spines in a library. Add a cup of coffee or tea, and you’ll confirm its Auden when you hear her practically purring in contentment. When bookstores are closed, and she isn’t writing, Auden is oft assessing the mischief of her pet dragon, while her human self does the same for her 2 boys; they have been found to have similar destructive capabilities.
P.S. – I can’t wait to have that awkward conversation when somebody asks what I do.
Oh! You’re a writer? What have you written?
Ummm, I can’t tell you that to protect my pen name.
Uh-huh, kind of like how Romy invented post-it notes and not Art Fry from the 3M Corp?
I may say I’m a stay-at-home mom instead. People don’t tend to ask you any follow up questions after that answer… And that’s not funny, but I can’t deal with that until after I finish these books.